"It's always there, it never leaves, at times it is overwhelming. I feel like if I just held my breathe long enough I could make it stop".
- sexual assault survivor
Courage is information and survivor support for victims of sexual assault. Courage began by a victim of sexual assault who is not a professional counsellor. This website does not replace or suggest visitors rely on the information provided as professional advice for healing and recovery. As victims and survivors we recognise the valuable contributions of professional counsellors, psychologist, experienced professionals in the recovery and healing process. However, we also recognise the valuable contribution each survivor, the victims of sexual assault provide to each other through their shared experiences.
We also welcome further suggestions from readers to support each other in our journeys of healing and recovery. Please forward your details to COURAGE.
Talking about your assault will be possibly one of the most difficult and challenging experiences. William Shakespeare once said "The grief that does not speak knots up the overwrought heart and bids it break".
I was fortunate to find a sexual assault counsellor with a community service who has provided me with ongoing support, listening and lots of free tissues!! A good, trustworthy, understanding and non-judgemental friend may be hard to find. Not everyone will feel, see and react the same way you may wish. A professional sexual assault counsellor can provide a safe, confidential setting for you to speak comfortably.
Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings help to clarify things, ease the burden on thoughts you cannot share with others. If you are in the process of legal action, a diary helps to keep track of discussions, appointments and upcoming dates. Keep it in a safe place, this is for you. There are days when just one word says it all and that is enough, let it out, write it down.
This isn't always easy when you want to curl up and do nothing, and sometimes doing nothing is not a bad idea either. Remember to rest, take time for yourself, soak in the bath, spend time in the garden, read, pamper yourself, try a little aromatherapy, write a poem, a song, paint, draw, exercise, give yourself time. Healing is an individual process, only you know what works for you. Good meaning friends and professionals have plenty of advice, but only you can choose what you want, what it will take to get through each day. Start with a list of 5 things you could do when things get too difficult, things which make you feel good about yourself, bring a smile to your face, help you wind down when times are really hard. Just remember to put it in a place you can find it. Let others be good to you, this is also hard at times. In trying to gain control back, I wanted to be in control, although this was not always possible, people wanted to help, they just didn't know how. Feeling loved, valued and safe is a wonderful place to be.
Seeking relief from a traumatic experience is not easy, it is bloody hard. There are many articles written on emotional eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, self-destructive behaviours. Don't let the offender take any more from your life. A healthy diet which limits your alcohol intake, is clear of illegal drug use, incorporates exercise and time for your mental wellbeing will provide your with a better opportunity to heal.
My very first support type group was with women who had also experienced violence. We created posters for an upcoming local event, expressing our thoughts, feelings and emotions through colour, words, use of imagination and creativity, it was a very uplifting and empowering experience. I have continued to use art as a therapy for healing. I do not limit myself to expectations of what I should produce, but more of what I feel at the time (it can be pretty scary). Art consists of many form of mediums including drawing, sculpting, painting, which are only limited by your choice of materials and imagination - Go for it! Sexual assault is an ugly part of life, through art there is great beauty to be found, if you seek it out.
Surviving Rape
A handbook about sexual violence for survivors, family, friends and workers
4th Edition, NSW Rape Crisis Centre, ISBN 0 947205 82 9
Breaking the Silence
Survivors of child abuse speak out
Edited by Liz Mullinar & Candida Hunt, ISBN 0 7336 0483 8
Breaking Free
an anthology from the NSW Rape Crisis Centre
Edited by Beatriz Copello & Robyn Ianssen, ISBN 0 9579697 3 2
