Blonde Jokes

Blonde Jokes

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
- she called me to get my phone number.
- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because
it said "concentrate."
- she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make
up her mind.
- she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T
WALK."
- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
- she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
- she tried to drown a fish.
- she thought a quarterback was a refund.
- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
- if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change
back.
- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third
grade.
- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked
On Phonics."
- she tripped over a cordless phone.
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign
here"...she put Sagittarius."
- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
- she studied for a blood test.
- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
- she sold the car for gas money.
- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went
home and got 16 friends.
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the
home, she moved.
- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice
instead.
- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said
"Airport Left" she turned around and went home.

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A blonde chick goes to the store to buy some groceries. She finishes and as she is walking to the cash register she sees some puzzels on the shelf and decides to kill the rest of the afternoon making one. She gets home and opens her puzzel box and spreads the pieces out on the table. She looks at it for 5 minutes...10 minutes...30 minutes...1 hour...2 hours...she finally gets frustrated at not being able to put even two pieces together and asks her boyfriend to come into the kitchen to help her.
Blonde; "Honey, I've been working at this puzzel for hours and I can't get two piecas together. Can you please help me, it's supposed to be a tiger."
Boyfriend; "Dear...put the frosted flakes back in the box."

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A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and she doesn't win. Brandi again prays... "God,please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and now I'm going to lose my car." Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she Prays..."Dear Lord, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEEEEASE let me win the lotto this onetime so I can get my life back in order. "Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God himself.....
"Brandi, work with me on this. Buy a ticket."

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A young blonde woman walks into a store and says, " i'd like to buy that t.v." The clerk says, "sorry, we don't sell to blonds. The blonde goes home and changes her hair color and then comes back. Again she asks to buy the t.v. "Sorry, we don't sell to blonds." the clerk said again. The blonde goes to get a complete makeover so that she looks very different. She goes back to the store and again asks for the t.v. "Sorry, we don't sell to blonds." said the clerk again. "I don't understand it!" said the blonde getting angry. "How do u know Im a blonde?" Then the clerk says,"Thats not a t.v., its a microwave.

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Last Updated : 12/08/2002